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The Melancholy We Ache

by Renounced

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1.
This is the first and only time I will put pen to paper and write about silent angels. I guess I always thought we would one day end up together. Distance never meant a fucking thing to me I should have given up so long ago. A few hours on a train would have been easier than breathing. Winters were not so isolating with you in the back of my mind. You’re the only person I have thought about dying with, but that decaying memory, is just another to expire just another a perfect ideal a perfect falsity. I remember like it was yesterday when you called me in tears after years and years I decided to just wait for all our skies to fall. For all our skies to fall. Bringing you crashing down. To ache for your touch to ache for your warmth. This is the first and only time I will put pen to paper. To suffer from a broken heart and to have never said those words.
2.
Tell me one truth in the lie we live, just one in the lies we burn so bright. Tell me a reason to give. You held me close you showed me more love than I could hope for. An impending void of disconnection, an abandonment untold. the melancholy we ache runs deep the clouds grow darker I sit and wait for the downpour. I can feel deaths eyes burning into the back of my head. I was once told this fire would never die, out you told me this flame would never burn out, Well now were burning out, I don’t want to see you go but I have to see you go a void so meaningless.
3.
Beneath these ashes I search for hope, but find nothing but dead ends. Sleep provides a break from the weight. The economy burns holes in souls. Sleep provides a break from the weight. Disappointment rains down on the youth, I dedicate this to the kids who never made it out. who found that noose and never found love If this mindset never lifts. I can’t see myself living past my thirties. The human race is not supposed to live like this. My mirror no longer reflects who I used to be. Please let this end. Beneath these ashes I search for hope. I try to understand, but just stare at an empty sky as it falls down on me. How heavy the downpour, how heavy. God has abandoned us, I just want to live a righteous life. But only see that one way out. Beneath these ashes I search for hope, but I find nothing but dead ends. Like a spring tide on a full moon I will drown everything that used feel safe. A moment so small can tear down the bluest of skies in this long goodbye We call life.
4.
Surely we have learnt by now that this is not how it’s meant to be, but I guess It’s not worth the sorrow as pieces of you die choke, gasp for air as the world falls apart look into everyone’s eyes the looks the same so distant so lost in time so cold asking why the warmth of hands once held now just distant memories hold on to the one thought that keeps you golden because we’re all meant to fade away in the sands of time choke, gasp for air as the world falls apart look into everyone’s eyes the looks the same the warmth of hands once held now forgotten memories.
5.
Perennial 01:27
6.
Aching 03:14
12.45am, Stuck in that place again demons. keep the head so heavy, hold your breath and wonder the darkest depths, your mind so selfish save me paranoia haunts. As the walls close in Suffocating light Eradicate the suffering. Under this dying sun we all have to carry the weight until our last days watch the sun set dream of tomorrow. so selfish save me paranoia haunts. No matter how hard you try to hold on you have to let go of everything so Selfish save me.
7.
The day the sun went out is burned forever into memory, the scar reminds me of the years I drowned, how hard do you have to swim to survive, mentally project a vision of a perfect future like an artist painting, a canvas so beautiful the vision will keep fire inside from dying out, Its keeps the demons from tying the noose It keeps me forever searching to find my wings, maybe one day I will no longer fear love fuelled by emptiness. I strive to no longer keep the canvas blank, a picture says a thousand words even if it’s a thousand times you look, hold on and promise yourself it be ok build walls to survive, nothing stays forever. so paint your own canvas because it never stops hurting. Art is depression.
8.
Never reside in someone else for healing, never give yourself to another person, always build a wall to hold a little piece back, last night I wish I’d died in your arms so I wouldn’t have to feel today, regret regret anxiety rises with the sun how hard it is for me to cope how hard is it for me we’re cursed, buried in loveless lives striving to find our own way out the cage burn the letters that were never sent the lonesome waltz of time drowns me in endless sorrow only emptiness remains which seems to stay always always build a wall, always.
9.
Show me answers, these days aren’t getting any shorter, wipe these tears away, show me a life that doesn’t end with an early grave. I long for something consistent something always there, to fill the void. Constantly searching. Acts of depression, reasons to simply breathe. oppression. misanthropy. you have to save yourself because the system doesn’t care. Stare into the abyss your soul is searching for the truth whisper to me in tongues. Find beauty in the decay, I will never again question another mans willingness to die.
10.
Outro 02:07

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released May 26, 2014

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Carry The Weight Records UK

Hardcore Punk label based in the UK.
Est. 2009

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